Chinese New Year 2012 Thoughts

This week is ending in a blink of an eye . It is also the shortest week for me with only 2 working days . But it still made me ponder over " Why good times past so quickly !!!! " . I must say CNY is definitely the most unproductive period because all what we do is nothing but to eat , NONSTOP .  This year , my family had to skip CNY celebration because of my late grandfather . I hate how I have to use the word , Late . Sigh , CNY is always dreadful to me anyway although ( CNY = Going to someone's house to eat & get paid ) . I dislike meeting my relatives & getting questions I feel they're just curious about and not concern . 

& Also ... 家家有本難念的經 .

Which is very funny because I went to Google it to see how to phrase it in English & this is what I got . 

I am quite glad I could skip a year of CNY because the festive vibes sometimes get so overrated it pisses me off . Like my mother loves to blast CNY songs when CNY is nearing /  除夕  & the best is 除一 morning She'll blast  ( I seriously mean BLAST !!! ) CNY songs to wake all of us up & I feel very embarrassed because I think the whole block can hear us . Not to mention , Our house is filled with decorations / flowers / whatever you can think of thats #soCNY . My house is like a new mini Chinatown every year . The one & only downside of not celebrating is not being able to have steamboat reunion dinner . Which is pretty sad because I love steamboat & #cheesetofu .  

This year , I feel like its not a complete family without my Grandfather anymore . I did not even bother to ask for a " Family " photo . Its a lie when people say Time heals the pain . It did NOT heal my misery . Even if time heals the pain , what about the scar left ? It does not go away . I have lived with my grandfather all my life till he passed away . Even if its 10 years later , I would still vividly remember the pain of losing him 10 years ago !! So , time does not heal anything . Time only let you forget for awhile . And when you remember , It hurts all over again . I feel very guilty . All the time I want to visit my Grandfather at the temple but I always find myself busy & caught up with work . I do not have time for myself anymore . I spend my days running behind the clock chasing after time . I hope when February comes , I'll take time out of my busy schedule and pay visits to him more often . This is my first year being slapped with the fact that my Family is now without his presence . For the many more years to come , he is never coming back to celebrate CNY with us anymore . This feeling is not anything like moving on from a failed relationship & a boy that dumps you . Or even a divorce . This pain is stinging my heart everytime I think about it . It definitely brings me tears but thats not the whole main point . The point is it brings me pangs of regret for not being around him more often in the past . 

Apart from the never ending sad topic , I am such a muddlehead . I supposedly had abit of time to put up an entry yesterday but I left my camera at home so no pictures = no entry . Today , I took my camera out of my bag only to remember I brought my memory card reader home last weekend . So , no updates till I get home tonight . I wonder what does tonight's programme have in store for me . The sweetheart boyfriend is picking me up from work in 30 minutes time and he has not told me anything about tonight . I hope its good . I've been eating mini steamboat with him for the past two days to make up for not being able to eat on reunion dinner & I'm hooked . I cant get enough of the pork belly , Cheese tofu , Enoki Mushroom & the tasty addictive soup base I've discovered . I actually just need 3 ingredients to make up my perfect steamboat . #EasilyContented 


Okay cool . I killed so much time doing up this post . 
15 minutes to end of work & start of weekends again !


xoxo , 
Sheryl Bella