Wednesday, 2 September 2015

The move on chapter, goodbyes.

So in days time, I'd be leaving my job of 4½ years to welcome a brand new route I decided to take. The thought of it is really intimidating - giving up a stable job & finance for an uncertain future, going income-less for at least 4 months and becoming a student again. But more than anything, it is exhilaration as I'd be stepping out of my comfort shell for the first time.

Leaving my current job is definitely one of the hardest decision to make. I love my job, the people I work with and most importantly, my bosses. Many people once told me that I should have left my job earlier to seek greater heights that maximizes my potential and flair for speaking. But honestly, I'm that kinda mundane office girl who'd rather slog 8am-5pm on weekdays and would need her daily dose of social & family time. I do have a huge passion for events and I absolutely enjoy the satisfaction after running through a successful event. But against all passions is the need of a routine life. I really cannot see myself waking up at different hours for work daily or having off days on a random schedule. Before I digress further, I really hope that I'd be back with a different perspective this time. 

On the topic of becoming a student again, SAY WHAT? Friends would be surprised to know that I decided to legitly study again after 7 years. For those who do not have an idea, I am a high school graduate holding only an O Level certificate. In other words, I'm the minority who decided to walk out of education at a really young age. In Singapore, the least everyone have on hand  is a diploma certificate which I had plans to go for intially at 17. But the working society was more enticing back then, with a stable income for myself and money to spend at that age, I gave up education. In other news, I'm not going back to educational studies but language studies instead. So I still won't be getting a higher qualification after this short study plan but at least I'm doing what I love to do, at least I'm going to go through the stressful exams and presentations like everyone else that I've previously missed out. I'm already married so this is bascially the last chance for me to persue something I really want before settling down with concrete family plans & commitments. 

Bryan left on a plane prolly 2 weeks ago and I'd been having alot of time to myself these days. Juggling with so many of (my) commitments, time never seem to be sufficient. I could have just left with Bryan since I already got our tickets settled months back but I chose to pay an extra $250 just to stay on a little longer and to deal with the adjustments I'd be facing in time to come. My biggest worry is my grandmother. Ever since my grandfather passed away, my grandma became very emotionally dependant to me. I am her only outlet to vent her frustration and to share her happiness. I feel the need to be there for her everyday even if its just a mere 5 minutes that I can spare for her to say something to me. Getting married & moving out was already an adjustment that I was struggling with, let alone not being physically there for her in this long period that I'd be gone. I'm due for my flight in a weeks time. I'd be leaving my friends, families & cats behind, the mix of conflicting emotions is honestly overwhelming. Excited for a new phase of my life but really reluctant when I think about being away from all my love ones. I guess I'm equally emotionally attached myself.

I look back at 2015 and I don't think I've done anything else other than the preparations for #bryanbellawedding. It has been time consuming and mentally draining, I just feel that I haven't done much for this year other than my big day. September is here and finally, I'd be living a productive 2015. This is where my 2015 begins, a little later than everyone else but carpe diem!