On the issue of being very private with regards to my personal life on the internet is because people talk. I mean, who doesn't? You can't help it if people make you their topic of discussion over dinners if you share too much online. Which is why I'm very selective of what I put up to the online public. People mistake me for only sharing pictures that portraits the kind of luxurious life I'm leading but NO, there are happier events that I chose not to share as well.
Bryan proposed a year ago and I kept quiet about it until recently when our wedding is actually approaching. I even demanded a video taken by our friend to be removed on his Instagram immediately after realizing that he posted it. Initially, Bryan didn't quite understand my decision to be hush on such a joyous event, so significant to us. But I guess he is starting to understand now.
Our married friends shared with us their experiences and the kind of insensitive absurd questions they get about their wedding. Initially I thought everything sounded too dramatic but now that I'm actually facing exactly what my friends went through, I totally understand what planning a wedding is all about - nightmare.
Here's my personal experience and frequently asked questions.
1. Omg! He Proposed? How big is your rock? How much did it cost?
Girls, I know diamonds are everything in a proposal. But even if my husband could only afford a 0.1 carat, I'd still marry him. I had friends trying to indirectly compete the size of their diamond to mine. I really cannot stand competitive people. After they find out that your diamond is bigger than theirs, they'd compare the price and convince you that their rock is more worth the money spent. But honestly, go deal with your insecure self because I'm not even half interested if your rock is bigger or mine is.
Be thankful for whatever your husband can afford to give you and stfu.
2. Why didn't he buy you a 1 carat?
Because if this is the answer you want to hear from your friend who just got engaged.
Yes, we are too poor for a 1 carat diamond which cost S$10,000 UP.
3. Are you inviting me to your wedding?
Receiving congratulations from friends that we haven't spoke to in years is actually really heart warming. For those that I barely spoke to even in the past, I'm not saying that it is offensive to ask. Sure you can, but if you haven't made the effort to speak to either of us in the recent years, why should we make the effort to include you on our list?
4. Telling the couple where you should sit during their wedding dinner
I get this a lot. There had been discussion among my close friends and relatives on where they want to sit. Fair enough, if we're very close. You can ask but don't demand. After all, it is impossible that the wedding can be done to please everybody. In fact, the newly weds have no obligation in satisfying anybody or meeting to anyone's request. If you haven't spoke to either of us since school graduation - you better not tell me who you should sit with. If every guest we invite were to make such a demand, we might as well hold a hall examination instead. Everybody gets their seat labelled and a fantastic unblocked view of the stage - right?
5. Can I bring a +1?
Do we look like we're hosting a birthday party here? Why would the couple invite a stranger to their wedding AND why would anyone want to attend a wedding when they don't know the couple personally? Sorry but I'd rather keep the seat empty than to invite your fling. What the fuck do you treat our wedding as?
6. I'd give you a bigger angbao if I bring my fling along.
Look, I don't even see your name on my guest list.
7. Shotgun marriage is it?
I can understand that many would assume it is a shotgun marriage since we are only 24 and in the eyes of the judgemental society, we are supposedly too young to decide on a lifetime commitment. But if you're a friend, you'd not be asking such a downright rude and sarcastic question. If your motive is not to congratulate but to be nosey about our life, fuck off. Our common friend doubted and asked "sure bo?" when Bryan already told him that it wasn't a shotgun marriage. Sure, I've been planning a shotgun after signing the contract with our banquet vendor a year ago. If you don't know shit, don't talk shit.
And honestly, you've severely offended me as your ex schoolmate, as the bride to be.
8. You sure he/she is the right one for you?
When it is your turn to get married, tell me how sure are you that your partner is the right one.
9. Are you getting married because of the flat?
Yes. And also because you're an asshole.
Obviously our flat was bought in view of our marriage plans. Why would we have settled on the flat if we had no intentions to get married? Bryan and I had everything planned out a long time back, to where we wanted to see ourselves 5 years into our relationship. Is there a problem here?
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Just two days ago, I posted a picture on Instagram that marked our first engagement anniversary. Immediately, Bryan received his first Whatsapp Congratulations from our common friend. This douche fitted the bill of being an outright rude asshole who cleared most of the questions above. Most of the harsh response above were directed to him actually because I really needed to get these frustrations off my chest.
I've lost the drive long ago to plan for this wedding and have already halted most of the errands needed to run. Thankful for dear friends who'd still check on me every now and then to ask if I needed any help. Most of them would have gotten a very heck care reply from me like as if this bride isn't even excited about the biggest day of her life. It is true that I am looking forward to my marriage BUT not my wedding.
In other news, please cut the couple some slack. It isn't even easy to plan a wedding especially when Singapore's high living standards are already choking us down. Day in and out, I still get endless of "orders" from relatives or insensitive friends on #howtoplanyourwedding #whatyoushouldandshouldnotdo . Everybody wants a say on this wedding. It is really very taxing to keep your smiles and be very polite to these rude people.
I hope this post have fully answered everyone's curiosity on our upcoming wedding/our relationship/speculations on a shotgun. I hope I do not have to do a part II for this post with a new set of shit questions people hoard me with.
love, bella
I've lost the drive long ago to plan for this wedding and have already halted most of the errands needed to run. Thankful for dear friends who'd still check on me every now and then to ask if I needed any help. Most of them would have gotten a very heck care reply from me like as if this bride isn't even excited about the biggest day of her life. It is true that I am looking forward to my marriage BUT not my wedding.
In other news, please cut the couple some slack. It isn't even easy to plan a wedding especially when Singapore's high living standards are already choking us down. Day in and out, I still get endless of "orders" from relatives or insensitive friends on #howtoplanyourwedding #whatyoushouldandshouldnotdo . Everybody wants a say on this wedding. It is really very taxing to keep your smiles and be very polite to these rude people.
I hope this post have fully answered everyone's curiosity on our upcoming wedding/our relationship/speculations on a shotgun. I hope I do not have to do a part II for this post with a new set of shit questions people hoard me with.
love, bella
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